Don't worry! The image above is not really a room from a suburban home listed for $1.1 M. It is merely all the worst elements of one that we frankensteined into one image of awefulness. Please be sure not to miss the drop-ceiling and the leopard-print futon, Ok? And be sure to see the entire gallery of Free Press photos to appreciate how much the home owners like pink carpet. Which is apparently design kryptonite for Freep reporters. The paper called this place "timeless," in a headline that actually used the words "house envy" as well. We had no idea the love child of Colonial interior design and Pier One Imports could produce that effect in the Freep.
Well of course the Freep's idea that this place is a timeless estate comes pretty much directly from a realtor quote.
“It’s a timeless kind of a home. It’s never really going to go out of style,” said Christopher Edwards, a Realtor with Hall & Hunter Realtors in Birmingham. “There are those who think the world revolves around Bloomfield Hills or Bloomfield Township because that’s where all the fancy estates are. That’s just not the case. There are grand estates, such as this home, in Farmington Hills.” The 6,300 square foot home built in 1989 asks $1,095,000. Not surprising to us, Zillow says it has been listed for 139 days already and no buyer had been found. To be fair, the tree house out back actually looks rad.