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Huge Palmer Woods Party Palace Needs Work, Wants $785K

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Photos via <a href="http://www.zillow.com/homedetails/1560-Lincolnshire-Dr-Detroit-MI-48203/88325947_zpid/"> Zillow</a>
Photos via Zillow

Nothing says "Detroit party" like an indoor pool surrounded entirely by astroturf. Or a basement rec room with full wet bar. And then there's the naked lady etched into the glass shower doors. Did we mention the carpeted spiral staircase? Because it's real and it's fabulous. Kind of. This 6-bedroom home with four full and two half baths has all of these things, not to mention so much beige carpeting you could cover at least three holes of the golf course across the street with it.

This house offers 9000 square feet of space, an attached 2-car garage and a fireplace. That's the good news. The bad news is that the home is very dated, and needs many updates. The kitchen seems to have had an extensive remodel, though it's heavy on the honey-stained wood and lacks windows. The parquet entrance and white-painted iron bannister seem more like the 80s than the 40s. The home has a large motor court, which takes up a lot of space that might otherwise be taken up by lawn. There's also minimal landscaping, giving the house a very severe street presence.

The bathrooms have some period charm, but this may also read as dated to many potential buyers. The tubs and showers are hardly the kind of luxe items you'd expect for nearly $800K, and would likely need updating, though the realtor tries to put a happy face on this by touting the "fresh coat of paint." While Palmer Woods is definitely a great place to be—just ask GM president Daniel Ammann, who just bought the Fisher Mansion—this home is priced well beyond a rational expectation, given both comps in the area and the place's condition.

When we saw the listing, we thought that the place might be a long-held family home, and that the owners might have let sentiment influence the price. But no—the place last sold in 2010…for $330K. The kitchen remodel likely happened post sale, but zero other parts of the house have had the level of attention that would result in a $450K return on investment. We'd love an indoor pool, but not at that price.

·1560 Lincolnshire Drive [Zillow]
·Detroit's Historic Fisher Mansion Sells to GM President [Curbed Detroit